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8 Crucial Questions To Ask Before Marriage

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You’re in love! You’ve found your soul-mate and you’re ready to get hitched…

But here’s the thing … There are some important questions you really need to ask yourself before getting married!

Because let’s face it – getting married is serious business. While most poor decisions are easy to recover from, a bad marriage is a much more serious matter. The potential emotional and financial impact of divorce can give the bravest of souls reason to pause.

Give this major decision the consideration it deserves. Enhance your odds of having of a successful marriage by ensuring you ask yourself these questions…

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9 Common Misconceptions of Success

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Previous Post:  How To Be Less Critical of Yourself and Others

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Based on your history, background, social circles, education and a slew of other factors, you already have many beliefs and notions about success.

Many of them are wrong. (Yeah, you heard me.)

And the reason why they are wrong is because if everyone knew what it meant to achieve success, we wouldn’t have the “98%” movement we do today.

Inaccurate beliefs can lead to taking inappropriate actions or prevent you from taking any action at all!

It’s not the things you don’t know that hurt you. It’s the things you believe are true that aren’t!

Success is much more elusive if your ideas about success are faulty.

There are many common misconceptions in relation to achieving success – have you been influenced by these inaccurate ideas?

9 Common Misconceptions of Success

Myth #1:  Successful people have a certain type of personality.

Bill Gates is considered introverted, but not shy.

Barack Obama has often been described as very aloof. (Yeah, I’ll say.)

Of course, there are many successful extroverts as well.

So as you can see, whatever personality type you have, rest assured that it’s more than enough to achieve extremely high levels of success!

Myth #2:  Money changes a person.

Money has never changed anyone. It only provides the opportunity to act on your impulses.

For example – I often have the impulse of handing out money any time I see someone in need or urges to go on Voluntourism trips across the globe! But right now I am either limited by time or money. And when you are limited by either of these (and most people are limited by both) you are unable to live out the passions and dreams in your soul.

But with money, all the things you daydream about buying and doing are finally possible.

Money only shines a light on the truth. — If someone becomes stuck up and greedy when they get rich? They were already that way before. They just have more to lose now.

Myth #3:  One must be intelligent to be successful.

Actually, the opposite may be true.

While there are many examples of brilliant people attaining high levels of success, there are even more examples of those with ordinary intellect being just as successful.

Consistency and determination are far more important than intelligence when it comes to success.

Myth #4:  It’s necessary to have an original idea.

You don’t have to invent the next Facebook or Microsoft to achieve success.

It’s possible to be successful by marginally improving upon the work and ideas of others.

Just outworking the competition is often enough to guarantee success, since most people are only willing to do the bare minimum. And that will NEVER bring you the success you desire.

Myth #5: It takes a lot of time to become and stay successful.

We all have the same 24 hours each day. The question is, “Are you spending your 24 hours as effectively as possible?”

In order to decrease the amount of time spent working to achieve the results you want, you need to focus daily on the most relevant tasks.

Most people avoid the most pertinent tasks, because they aren’t enjoyable. But having the success you want means you don’t always get to do what’s enjoyable.

Myth #6:  Success is lonely.

Do you imagine yourself sitting home alone because you have become successful?

If so? Nothing could be further from the truth.

It’s true there are fewer successful people than unsuccessful – but it’s for a lot of reasons!

Due to your level(s) of success however, you’ll have far more business and social opportunities than you ever would otherwise had you not taken the steps to achieve the level of success you desire.

Myth #7: Luck is an important component of success.

The only way to be “lucky” is to give yourself numerous opportunities to BE lucky.

Luck favors the bold, my friends. So unless you are open to and seize opportunities to complete your goals, your “luck” just won’t be the same.

Remember – the more work you do, the better your odds.

Myth #8:  The most successful people had an easy time.

Many successful people started in the most disadvantageous situations and faced incredible obstacles.

You’d be shocked by the adversity faced by many of the most successful people to walk the Earth.

The difference is that most of us would’ve quit 100 times.

The successful person kept moving forward.

Myth #9:  It’s important to have a lot of willpower to achieve success.

Willpower is in short supply unless your life is at stake. Most people do not flex that muscle of will power – for example going to bed at a decent hour to allow your body at least 7 hours of sleep, or not drinking that 3rd glass of wine or eating 5 omg delicious brownies …

Catch my drift?

The key is, however, that willpower is useful during the early stages of developing new habits.

Once a habit is formed? Willpower isn’t necessary – the actions are just natural.

How much willpower do you need to brush your teeth each day?

How many of these misconceptions did you believe before today?

Have you changed your mind?

Having an accurate representation of success dramatically increases your odds in favor of your success.

Embrace the truth and you can expect to achieve a new level of success in any endeavor.

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How To Be Less Critical of Yourself and Others

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How to be Less Critical of Yourself and Others

We all have our own set of values, and more times than not? They might be radically different from our own.

While having values is very positive and can help you make difficult decisions, there’s also a risk if you expect others to behave under your frame set of how the world should work.

There’s no single way to live life or view the world. Period.

If you expect others to live according to your rules, you’re limiting your personal growth and enjoyment. And may even potentially push other people away who might have otherwise brought more into your life.

Being critical of others has additional consequences:

  • Hard on others? Then you will naturally also be hard on yourself.
  • Your self-esteem and happiness suffer.

When we accept others and ourselves, life is simply more enjoyable. Use these strategies to remove your expectations and be less critical:

1. Be aware of critical thoughts.

Everything has a beginning.And before you begin to form critical judgments or say critical things, there will always be a critical thought.

This is your cue to change your thought process.

Remind yourself to be more open-minded whenever you begin to feel you’re making that judgement.

Monitor your thoughts to live a happier and more prosperous life.

2. Pause for five seconds and take a deep breath.

This simply tip has been really helpful for me. Especially when I’m in a “heated discussion” and my emotions are high.

Now generally you’re safe until you open your mouth. But when you start to find yourself feeling judgmental or anxious, stop and take a short pause.

Interrupt your thought pattern! Give yourself a chance to think before you say something you might regret.

How many times have you wished you could take back something you’ve said?

That doesn’t have to happen again in the future.

3. Understand that people, including yourself, are doing the best they can.

Now, that doesn’t mean that everyone is living up to their potential.

What it does mean is that everyone has their own unique set of currently developed skills, health issues, past experiences & tragedies, upbringing, and even their own way of viewing the world.

Faced with the same experiences, you can’t be certain you would do any better.

The person you’re judging might be doing a lot better than you think if only you knew the entire story.

4. Avoid stereotyping.

“Women can’t be successful.”

“Anyone with a tattoo is a miscreant.”

“Potheads are lazy.”

Have you ever had any of these thoughts?

Perhaps someone has said something like this to you?

When you stereotype someone, you’re only fooling yourself by throwing all people of the same race or background as being the same.

Are you strong and patient enough to determine the truth about the other person?

5. Find a role model.

All of my success mentors have said “find someone who has what you want and do what they do” — this is no different.

Know someone that’s very accepting of everyone? Sit down and speak with them.

Ask them how they manage to be so non-critical of everyone.
Ask them what they think when they see a Goth teenager covered in tattoos and piercings.

Their thoughts are the answer to your struggle.

6. The past doesn’t have to equal the future.

We’ve all made (and will make) mistakes. But the thing about mistakes is that they don’t have to be repeated – as long as you learn from them.

Understand that other people can learn from their errors. Remind yourself that you wouldn’t want to be judged by your greatest mistake, nor would it provide an accurate view of you.

Give others the same consideration.

7. Respect the freedom of others.

You are not dictator over anyone. You were not voted to take over and make decisions for someone else.

It’s arrogant and delusional to believe that your way is the right way for everyone.

You have the option to live your life the way you choose. Provide the same freedom to others.

I am a firm believer in the Constitution of the United States – unedited. I may not believe in or agree with what you are doing or saying, but I will defend your right to live free.

8. Let go of your expectations.

Become more flexible – do not expect anyone to act in the way you see how things “should” work.

Having expectations that people should act a certain way is a form of trying to control others.

Think of it this way – when you have expectations, they’re sure to be violated. Especially if the person you have expectations for does not share your same values.

There’s only one way you can feel at that point: upset. Let go of your expectations and accept the outcome without judgment.

If you have a habit of being critical, you’ll get more out of life if you reverse this tendency.

This is a great opportunity for you to stretch yourself – to be patient and understanding towards both yourself and others.

The people that annoy us are here to teach us about ourselves.

Make an effort to learn more about someone you don’t like. You might find that your first impression was incorrect!

If you would like more information like the above, then click here!

11 Tips For Creating Self Motivation

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11 Tips to Self-Motivate

Even the most experienced and successful achievers can use a little help getting motivated from time to time. Motivating yourself is a learnable skill. Everyone procrastinates at times. It’s human nature. Several tactics and strategies can lift your motivation to the critical level necessary to get yourself moving again.

Try these techniques to motivate yourself and get things done:

1. Choose happiness.

It’s much easier to motivate yourself when you’re in a positive mood. Focus on the wonderful things in your life that fill you with gratitude. Cleaning out the garage won’t seem quite as daunting. Keep your mind on the positive things in your life.

2. Learn how to be a finisher.

A trail of unfinished projects can dampen anyone’s enthusiasm to start another. Avoid quitting before a task is 100% completed. You’ll be more interested in taking on new tasks when you expect to be successful. Success breeds success.

3. Expect mistakes.

The only people that don’t make mistakes are those who never do anything. The more mistakes you make, the more you’ll learn. Mistakes can be very positive. Use them to your advantage.

4. Keep yourself grounded in the present.

If you’re worrying about the future or beating yourself up over the past, it’s challenging to get anything accomplished right now. Focus on your breathing for a few minutes if your mind is running wild.

5. Focus on the result.

You’ll find it difficult to get started if you sit around and think about all the work that needs to be done. Focus on the result and you’ll feel much more motivated.

6. Give yourself a reward.

You go to work every day because you know that a paycheck is coming your way. You wouldn’t go otherwise. Give yourself a small, but meaningful, reward when your work is complete. Determine the reward before you get started.

7. Use a timer.

Decide how long a task should take and see if you’re right. Set a timer and see if you can beat the clock. A little time pressure will help to keep you focused on your work. There are many timer apps and programs available at no cost.

8. Read inspirational quotes.

Reading inspirational quotes by those who have achieved great success can be very motivating. Spend a few minutes reading these great quotes and you’ll be sure to experience an enhanced level of enthusiasm. Consider creating a list of quotes that you can keep nearby in case of emergency.

9. Consider the price of failure.

What is the price of failing to follow through? Make a list of the negatives. Some of us are more driven by pain then we are by reward. Using both to your advantage can be powerful.

10. Get some exercise.

If you’re felling stuck, go for a brisk walk or a short run. Taking a short break every 60 minutes has been shown to increase productivity. Keep your breaks short so you don’t get off track.

11. Measure your progress.

Big goals or projects can takes years to complete. Measuring your progress along the way is a great way to keep your spirits high. Set short-term goals to keep you focused.

Most of us don’t live with our mothers any longer. It’s important to be able to motivate ourselves. The most successful people are able to harness the power of self-motivation. A higher level of motivation will ensure that your work is done well and as quickly as possible. It’s time to get busy!

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Stop These 8 Thought Patterns Of Destruction!

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8 Thought Patterns That Cloud Your Judgment

Our thoughts impact our actions, and ultimately, the level of success we achieve.

Our thought patterns influence our emotions and perspective of the world.

If you can identify your unhelpful thought patterns, you can correct them and develop new ways of managing yourself and the world.

Your thought patterns influence multiple aspects of your life, so here’s 8 thought patterns of destruction that you need to avoid:

1. Making assumptions.

Correct information is essential in making good decisions.
So delay your judgement before reaching a negative conclusion about a person or situation.
Too many of us jump to false conclusions because we don’t have all the facts.
So make an informed decision by gathering all of the available information and not allowing emotion to intervene.
How many times have you made a decision too quickly and regretted it?
Give yourself the chance to be right.

2. Applying the past to the future.

Your past, and whoever made you feel like you weren’t enough to have everything you ever dreamed of?
Your past and those dream stealers have nothing to do with your ability to achieve the success of your wildest dreams today.
The past never has to equal the future.
What’s worse? We’re too quick to believe our current abilities mean we’re experts in the subject.
Just remember that one failure is not enough to prove anything!
Pharmaceutical companies aren’t allowed to test a drug on just one person and then release it to the public.
Many attempts are required to prove that results aren’t due to random chance.
Even if you are not a natural in some skill you wish to have, you have the ability to learn and become someone with those skills.
You weren’t born knowing how to walk, speak or perform high or complex tasks.
If you have the desire and passion for something you are not yet ready for, you must do the work required to become ready!

3. Focusing too much on the positive or the negative.

Strive to be accurate.
Consider when you start dating someone new.
At first, you are normally super focused on their positive traits that get your feel good hormones going.
As the relationship is failing, you’re too focused on the negative – which might lead you to make things worse.
Neither is accurate.

4. Giving things too much or too little relevance.

Do you give too much focus or attention to your failures?
Do you give your successes too little?
Have a balanced view of both. Just because you “woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning” does not mean you have to have that attitude all day!
Give yourself the credit you deserve.

5. Taking something personally that has nothing to do with you.

For many reasons that do not include you, people may do and say things that may be hurtful or cause you to believe you need to fear.
Remember – they might be having a bad day or dealing with a personal issue.
It’s not always about you.
Your car breaking down doesn’t mean the universe is out to get you.
Be sure to remind yourself that others have more on their mind than just you – you are not center of everyone’s reality.

6. Focusing on the past.

While the past can provide extremely valuable lessons, most people don’t use the past constructively.
They focus on the missed opportunities and mistakes.The focus on lack.
And when used in this way, feelings of regret are created from this focus on the past.
Let it go – avoid allowing it to cloud your future.

7. Focusing on the future.

Having goals and plans is one of the most important factors for success! But it’s common to use the future as a source of worry.
Stay focused on today. Today is the only time you can change your life.
Allow the future to arrive. It will come soon enough.
It’s best to keep your end goal in sight and allow it to motivate you. You just have to learn not to focus on it and have it consume you.

8. Putting things off.

Is it not easier to have something replaced after it’s already deteriorating and in the end causing something to fail?
If you wait until you’re forced to deal with things, your solutions will be less elegant and less convenient.
Do things on your time. But Eat That Frog and do that hard things first.

Have you ever indulged in any of these negative thought patterns?

Being able to notice your tendencies is the first step to changing them.

When you catch yourself thinking in a way that clouds your judgement, replace your thought pattern with one that serves you well instead of opening the door to failure.

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