8 Crucial Questions To Ask Before Marriage

Last Updated on 2015-10-08 by Kassandra

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You’re in love! You’ve found your soul-mate and you’re ready to get hitched…

But here’s the thing … There are some important questions you really need to ask yourself before getting married!

Because let’s face it – getting married is serious business. While most poor decisions are easy to recover from, a bad marriage is a much more serious matter. The potential emotional and financial impact of divorce can give the bravest of souls reason to pause.

Give this major decision the consideration it deserves. Enhance your odds of having of a successful marriage by ensuring you ask yourself these questions…

Question #1:  What makes this person different from the rest?

Most people tend to date the same “type” of person, and you’ve probably dated several people in your life before this person.

How does this person stand out from everyone that came before?

What uniqueness do they bring to the table? How does having them in your life bring you joy more so than the rest?

Question #2:  How will your long-term goals be affected?

Dream of backpacking through Europe and living an exciting, adventurous life? If so, marrying someone who dreams of staying at home and having six children probably isn’t a good match.

While compromise is a part of any relationship, you’ll be resentful if forced to completely give up your dreams.

Make a list of the most important things you want to experience and accomplish in your lifetime. Use this list to measure if you and your possible spouse have compatible dreams.

Is your partner a benefit or a hindrance to achieving these things? What’s most important to your future spouse? Will you be a help or an obstacle?

Question #3:  How emotionally healthy is my potential spouse?

I recently heard the following quote:

It is easier to raise a strong child than try to fix a broken adult.

Due to an array of factors, a lot of adults are actually not healthy emotionally. And the less emotionally healthy someone is, the more challenging they are to be around.

Life is already difficult for even the most sane among us. Those with emotional issues find life even more so.

Dating a “fixer-upper” is one thing. Marrying one is something completely different.

Question #4:  How well do we resolve conflict?

Constructive communication is key – this is no secret nor a surprise to anyone.

Yelling, avoiding, pouting and general immaturity doesn’t normally result in effective conflict resolution.

Know that there will be conflict. There always is in life. But it’s important that you find an effective resolution calmly and kindly.

The good news is that effective communication is a skill that you both can learn if you have the desire.

Question #5:  How similar are our attitudes regarding religion, money, and child rearing?

These items are often the sticking points for many couples and if not discussed beforehand could cause a lot of damage to your relationship.

Disagreements over financial issues are one of the most common causes of divorces. Can you deal with the way your potential spouse handles money? Can they be accepting of your financial habits?

How many children do you want to have? How about your partner? How do each of you feel about spanking?

There is a lot to consider and before you discuss, get clear on what you believe is how these things should be handled, then discuss in a calm manner.

Question #6:  Would I be satisfied if my partner didn’t change at all?

Your partner isn’t perfect – no one is. Expect that to remain in effect for their lifetime.

Avoid going into a marriage believing that you can change them for the better. You need to remember that people don’t change unless THEY want to.

He won’t suddenly become more patient or ambitious.

She won’t become less moody or spend less money on shoes.

Expect that what you have is as good as it’s going to get. Avoid expecting miracles.

Now – is this the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with?

Question #7:  Are you getting married for the right reasons?

Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with this person? Do you feel that you’re settling because you can’t find someone “better”? Are you afraid of being alone?

Ensure you want to get married because you love your partner.

Question #8:  Do you bring out the best in each other?

Does your partner bring out the best in you or the worst?

Are you or your partner better for spending time with each other?

Ideally, you’ll both be the best possible versions of yourselves.

Some people bring our worst qualities to the surface.

Reflect on your life together to answer this question.

Many couples get engaged because of the intense emotions they’re experiencing. That intensity won’t last, and you will be left with a serious dose of reality.

Don’t be that guy or girl.

Do all that you can to ensure that you’re making a wise decision. Your future depends on it.